This is my life story from child until becoming an Adult:
Childhood and Early Education: Potential in the Outskirts of Surabaya
I am a man born and raised on the suburban of Surabaya. My childhood memories are colored by the kindness of my neighbors, who took a liking to me because of my distinct features—fair skin and large, dark eyes. In my neighborhood, I was known as a high-achieving child.
This academic consistency continued through elementary school. My National Exam scores were excellent, high enough to secure a place in one the best public junior high schools in downtown Surabaya. However, my time in junior high (SMP) became my first real challenge. The dozen-kilometer commute from my home to the city center began to take its toll, coupled with a classroom environment that felt less than conducive—where some peers felt more mature and the atmosphere wasn't always friendly.
The High School Years: A Peak of Confidence
In contrast to junior high, high school was a golden period for me. I found an egalitarian and simple environment. I once again emerged as a prominent student, active in extracurriculars, and even experienced my first brushes with romance. My optimism was at an all-time high; I was certain I could enter a prestigious state university in Surabaya. Although I was accepted at UINSA, my ambition led me to pursue a different path until I was officially admitted into the D3 Chemical Engineering program at the Sepuluh Nopember Institute of Technology (ITS).
The Turning Point in College: The Onset of Health Struggles
University life in Chemical Engineering proved to be far more heavy than I had imagined. The strict laboratory discipline and senior orientation process began to drain my energy. By the end of the first semester, I fell ill with typhus just as exams were starting. My poor exam results left me feeling pessimistic, and my physical health began to deteriorate frequently.
Seeking a way out, I decided to transfer to the University of Muhammadiyah Surabaya (UMSURA) in 2010, majoring in Islamic Religious Education. At first, everything seemed smooth, but I began to notice a striking difference in stamina between my peers and me. The climax occurred after a community service project in Sumobito, Jombang. The physical strain of sleeping on the floor and a packed schedule left me utterly exhausted.
Upon returning, I felt an invisible distance between myself and my surroundings. While performing Maghrib prayers at home, my hands suddenly began to tremor so violently that I could not finish the prayer. Panic led my father to take me to Menur Psychiatric Hospital (RSJ Menur) in Surabaya. Like a bolt from the blue, I was diagnosed with Schizophrenia and required three weeks of inpatient care. From here everything changes.
Before I got sick, I was a very private boy. I never talked about personal matters with my parents because they didn't ask me. I changed that habit after that. I shared important things that needed to be shared.
Accepting Reality and Rising Again
Post-treatment, my world changed completely. I tried to return to my studies, but my physical and mental strength were no longer the same. Feelings of inadequacy and a tendency to become easily fatigued set in. Eventually, I had to let go of my dream of earning a degree for the sake of my health.
Today, my primary focus is self-care to prevent burnout. I am aware that if I am pushed to my limit, I can become prone to sudden outbursts of anger, so maintaining inner peace is my daily priority. Although my college journey was cut short, my spirit to remain productive has not faded. I began pioneering my own businesses, from selling football jerseys to distributing "Molreng" snacks. I continue to learn and seek out business opportunities that I can manage within my current capacity.
I was still trying to sell my friend's date milk, then partnered with another friend to sell Eucalyptus Candy. I also partnered with the Head of the Islamic Spiritual Extracurricular, where I was the vice-chairman. But I still felt unsatisfied, perhaps because the income from selling was small. This was because I only took the margin, not as a producer. And I was still learning about the business I wanted to know. Until the Covid-19 period came, and that became an opportunity for me in the New Era from Covid-19. In the past, I was also actively looking for online business opportunities and exploring my gadgets.
At the end of the Covid period, I only dared to leave town alone until my mother sought me out. And I started to dare to take the train alone. Not wanting to waste this opportunity, I decided to create my own YouTube account and create content on it for fun. Initially, I wanted to share it with people about trains and public buses in Surabaya and the surrounding areas.
The Stigma
Schizophrenia is a severe and chronic mental disorder. Many people say they're crazy. I can only try to make something of my life, and thank God, things are getting better. My mother told me I'm better than someone who's in a worse situation. I will continue to fight in life to find happiness.
I just want to spend my time with my beloved family. I will continue to sow goodness and share it so that others can be happy too.
And Now:
After my experience looking for business opportunities on the internet and also sometimes feeling like I've fallen into a scam trap, i finally found my niche. I found a platform that could make money. I found an app that would pay me for my surveys. It was very flexible, I could do it anywhere. I'd actually done this in the past, but one platform didn't pay me at the time, and now it's paying me after everything is established.
I also occasionally take photos to contribute to Shutterstock. In 2026, I started building a website again after previously building a blog on Blogspot. But this time I was serious and had already experienced failure in building a TLD website.
Have you ever felt like you're at rock bottom? Let's share our encouragement in the comments.
#MentalHealthAwareness #ODSBangkit
Comments
Post a Comment